My Masturbation moment
My personal story aka how I developed my sexual-self.
My first sexual experience was with myself, at nine years old and it all started with a found VHS tape...
My friends and I, being the snoopy kids we were, found the tape. It was label-less but not blank. We head to the basement VCR to check it out. (You can see where this is heading... Yup, it was porn.) Now, this wasn't porn, porn... It was just a girl, alone on a couch with a Hitachi Magic Wand. (At the time I had called it The Vibrating Marshmallow, cause well, I was 9...) Needless to say I was more than intrigued, whereas my friends were grossed out. They left me downstairs watching the tape, glued to the screen, trying to figure out where the “sexual education” I'd received in school fit in here. There was no man with an erection, no penetration, no ejaculation... There was just one lady, who seemed to be REALLY enjoying what she was doing. No one told me “sex” could be like this, I was confused... and aroused. The tape ended, I left my friends behind and went home on a mission to replicate what I had seen. I went to it... and had my first orgasm.
Now, I didn't know that what I was doing was masturbating, not yet anyways. I don't even think I knew what an “orgasm” was when I had my first one. I just knew that it was awesome and I needed to learn more. You weren't taught that kind of stuff in elementary sex ed. I didn't have the older brother or sister to learn from and I couldn't/didn't talk to my parents about that. So I read... I went to the library and researched sexuality, masturbation and orgasms. I tried to talk to my friends about it, I wanted to know who else did. I had to talk to someone about it. I approached all my friends, girls and boys... The boys were quick to admit they did, even if it wasn't exactly the same as I did, but none of the girls did. Maybe they didn't, this was 25 years ago. However, I seriously doubt that NONE of my girlfriends touched themselves. It seemed okay (or expected) for little boys to touch themselves but not little girls.
That didn't stop me as I would masturbate at least once a day, mostly before sleep. For a little while, I thought I was addicted, as I couldn't fall asleep without rubbing one out. I was just young and uninformed. Fallacies and myths were created to instill fear in kids who touched themselves. Hairy palms, blindness, even mental retardation were all fabricated symptoms to help us keep our hands out of our pants. At puberty we're told that we're going to have all these emotions and feelings and “changes” with our bodies, yet we're told not to act on them. Not til we are married and adults, which happens to be 8-10 years away. We weren't told that there's a coping skill for the feelings we're going to have. We should have been.
In the past 25 years, I've grown a lot sexually. I'm not that little kid sneaking away with my toothbrush, I've invested in some good vibrators now. I'm no longer confused by the mix of emotions I used to get from what I do. I'm no longer embarrassed because what I'm doing is “bad”. I've always been interested in sexuality, both my own and the sex lives of other people. Not what they do when behind closed doors, but why they do or don't do certain things. I've always been curious and not afraid to ask questions that most wouldn't. I've always just wanted to know... I've got a serious grip on my ability to have orgasms. I know what I like, that in turn, makes me a better partner in relationships. How can you tell someone what you want sexually if you don't know what you like?
I believe that masturbation education is important for all individuals at all life stages.
I have created Idle Hands as a brand to help me educate people on the benefits of masturbation and orgasms.
Happy Orgasming.
M.